11/18/08; Getting There

Let me start off with saying that I've had an awful day today and you want to know who's fault it is? No one but my own. I've been having a slight pity party day and it's not fun. I suppose it's because I'm over whelmed with homework, people, and all that life entails. Sometimes I bring up things in my mind that don't need to be there, the things of the past that always seem to sneak up on you right at the perfect moment - the moment when you're most susceptible to hurtful things. You remember old relationships or past friendships you've "ruined" some way or another. It's in moments like these that I pick up my phone and call the one person I know will understand - and even if they don't they're sure good at faking it - my grandma. I tell her all that's going wrong - or what I "think" is going wrong and the first thing she tells me is, "Jenye, do you realize this is just Satan bringing you down?"

Well of course I...didn't. I never realize these things until someone smacks me in the face with it and that's what my grandma was doing. She was waking me up to the fact that my life is nothing more than I can handle, because if it was God wouldn't have given it to me, he would have dealt this hand to someone else. Just because I have tons of homework and have made my fair share of mistakes in the past doesn't mean I'm any less of a person. I'm not perfect and I don't want to be. I want God's grace to fall upon me and take care of me, I just sometimes forget that Satan is just as real as God is - God is just stronger.

Then, as I was procrastinating my IDS exam paper, I ran across this quote by Pete Wentz. He said, "Just because today is a terrible day doesn't mean tomorrow might not be the best day of your entire life. You just have to wake up and get there." Get there. That's the part that got me the most. We are always so stuck on the problems of the moment or the little things that always tend to sneak up on us from the past that we forget about the good things to come. God promised they would, we just have to have faith to stand up and get there.