"Stepping up. It's a simple concept."
Summer has been good and I honestly have no room for complaints. I have great friends, some that are old and I'm finally getting back in touch with, then there are new that I wish were closer than twelve hours away. The boyfriend is definitely the most amazing person, ever. My family has been closer than ever even through some tough issues going on. This summer has definitely been different than most summers, mostly because I'm used to all my friends being down the street and free any time during the day. Now it's hard because they're all either working, in a different town, or even a different state! I've grown up a lot and I know that I've stepped up because I can actually handle being by myself. I know it sounds funny, but I used to not even be able to stay in a room by myself and just think without feeling completely alone; now I can actually sit in my room and write an entire journal entry without feeling alone or totally lost in the world.
"It basically means to rise above yourself; to do a little more, to show you something special."
There are a lot of times when my thoughts can catch me off guard and I find myself thinking about things of the past that I regret and that I wish could be different. Then I have to remember that God put those things in place for me, God wanted me to handle those things so I can be sitting here now and think(plus, truly believe), "I can handle anything that comes my way because God is right there beside me." It took me the longest time to believe that, to believe that I didn't lead myself down this path and God was no longer there. I used to believe that I took a wrong turn on God's Road to Life and He was back at the turn just waiting for me to turn around, but now I know, there are no wrong turns. There are just very many different right ones that lead you down the path that was truly meant for you.
Today I know that God has put me on this path, and me alone, because it was meant for me. I was meant to think back at my past and sometimes feel uneasy, I was meant to fall and lose people in my life, I was meant to hit the speed bumps I have and God is holding my hand the entire time. Have you ever felt like God was pointing you in a direction that you didn't want to go? Well, I have a feeling God has practically pulled me a time or two, because I can get very bullheaded sometmes, but looking back I thank God for pulling me; I needed a good tug to get where I am.
"Life's funny sometimes; it can push pretty hard..."
This summer has been great, but it's also been insanely hard. I've definitely hit some walls this summer. First, there was the hit of a close friend getting arrest and getting labeled something that I know he is not. He's such an amazing person and to see him go through something like that was definitely hard to do. Then there was the news that my roommate wouldn't be returning to school next semester. Not only did that leave me without a roommate, but it also left me without my best friend and my confidant. I know God puts me through this stuff for a reason, but it's definitely hard to see it while you're going through it. Life is going to be great and I just have to know that as I go through these challenges that it's setting me up for life. I'm definitely okay with that.
"...in sports they call this 'stepping up'. In life, I call it pushing back."
-One Tree Hill
When I get down I usually turn on my iPod to something upbeat, something that will keep me smiling even if I want to frown. Or I watch a Marilyn Monroe movie, those are always something that will put me in a good mood. Carol told me that whenever I'm thinking about certain topics that bring me down then I need to do something that reminds me of a good mood or time. Nothing says good mood like Lupe Fiasco or Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. At least not to me. They are usually just the medicine I need to start pushing back in life, 'cause God never promised my walk with Him was going to be easy, but He did promise that it was going to be worth it.
He's right.
